apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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