i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
