Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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