im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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