I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
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Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize