Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
