What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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