just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
dude. I can hear the air.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
