How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
