tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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