after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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