Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Randomize
