so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
so let's talk penis.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
