Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
