I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
A+ Viking dick
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
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