I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
