And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
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If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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