Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
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