Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
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