The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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