Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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