I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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