dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
My vagina is officially offended.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
