i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Randomize