i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
