Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
