yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Randomize
