That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
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I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
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HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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