Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
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