Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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