Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Randomize
