your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
