My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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