Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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