Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Well I just put wine in my tea
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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