I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize