i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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