We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
oh god was she eating orange peels again
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He? As in you personified your dick?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
