I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Randomize
