Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
