She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I intend to get homeless drunk
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
