1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize