I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize