My first STD was from a foam party
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
You're earring is so big in my mouth
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
