Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
