The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
