at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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