Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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