You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
