based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
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