OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
