The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
