lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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