my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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