don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
