I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
