people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
