She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
You made out with two different species that night
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Randomize