on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
