You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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