The maid of honor just puked.
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
Randomize
