I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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