so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
im six kinds of drunk right now
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
