i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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