just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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