if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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