it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize