i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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