oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
